Happy Thanksgiving to All and especially to those of us who are feeling our Loss

Happy-Thanksgiving-Images-4As I sit here and reflect on past Thanksgivings, all I can think of is those who meant so much to me who are no longer with me.  Of course, I think of my parents who I shared a close relationship with and were the cornerstones of my life.

Oh, how I miss them.  My dad making numerous trips to the grocery store, picking up things he forgot and additional items my mom sent him to get to make that Thanksgiving dinner so special.  Mom was always in the kitchen and the fumes from the turkey, collard greens, candid yams, etc. to delight your pallet filled the air.

Until I lost my beloved Justin, I did the same thing for my daughter Shenita and him.   Holiday were always important.  What seemed so trivial but meant so much is gone and life will never be the same again.  I don’t care how many people come or don’t come, life is so different and the magnitude of our loss cannot be measured or debated.

Nevertheless, this Thanksgiving, let’s keep in mind the blessings God has graced us with. The fact that God did not give us our children and loved ones, he loaned them to us. Just as he giveth, he taketh. And as thankful we are for that loan and equally as hurt from the loss, let’s look to those we still have with us, enjoy them, be thankful for them and not take them for granted.

And let’s remember that the memories we make today are the ones we will look back on tomorrow.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone from http://www.survivingmurder1.com

Denise Cosby

Author of Forthcoming Memoir:

Murder at Harvard University Kirkland House –A Mother’s Worst Nightmare

THE CALL

 

EVERYDAY A PARENT RECEIVES A CALL THAT CHANGES THEIR LIVES FOREVER.  THIS IS THE CALL THAT NOBODY WISHES ON THEIR WORST ENEMY. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE RECEIVED THIS CALL;

DO YOU REMEMBER THE CALL?

“The Call”

On May 18, 2009, I received “the call.”

The call that changed my life forever still rings loudly in my head almost five years later.

Around 4:15 p.m. on May 18, 2009, I stood in front of my television set and watched a news bulletin flash across my screen.  The report indicated a young man had been shot at Harvard University.  Having been home all day, I decided to go out for a while after watching the alarming news story.    I left the house thinking my son Justin was in his room due to the fact that he had been there all day.  I planned to call him a little later that afternoon.  About an hour after leaving the house I received a call from Justin’s girlfriend.  She told me Justin had left home and she hadn’t heard from him in some time.  After trying to text him and call him, she could not reach him.  This was unusual for Justin so she decided to call me.  I told her I had not heard from Justin and would call him.  Justin was very close to me.  Proud to be a “momma’s boy,” he was 21 years old, and my baby.  If I called him, he would always answer or call me right back.  I picked up the phone and called him.  The call went straight to his voice mail.  I left him a message to call me right away.  I began to text him and received no answer.  The silence concerned me.  I decided to leave my friends’ home of whom I had gone to visit with for a while, and proceeded to drive home.

Continue reading “THE CALL”

“MELISSA COWAN – A MOTHER, A WIFE, A CHILD, A SISTER, A FRIEND – A TRAGEDY”

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In April, 2014, Melissa Cowan (27) and her husband Carrington Joesph (27) appeared on a National Syndicated Talk Show “The Trisha Show” in an attempt for Melissa to save her marriage.  She wanted to prove to her husband that she had been faithful to him.  He had also questioned the paternity of their 4-month old twin babies that were proven to be his babies from the lie detector test Melissa took on the show.  Two weeks later, on May 2, 2014, Melissa and Carrington engaged in a heated argument and Melissa attempted to leave the home.  Melissa’s 18 year old sister was in the home with them and attempted to call the police for help when Carrington threatened her.  She managed to escape the home and ran out screaming hysterically for help.  As Melissa’s twins set in their car seats ready to leave with their mother, Carrington went to the kitchen and grabbed several knives from the drawers.  He first stabbed Melissa in the back as she tried to exit the home.  Melissa fell out of the door and her sister and a neighbor attempted to pull her away from him.  Carrington put a knife to her head.  He pulled Melissa back into the house by her hair and continued to stab her 82 times breaking several knives in her before she took her last breath in front of her 4 month old twins.

The police arrived minutes after the call was dispatched, Carrington still had a knife in his hands and blood from Melissa had splashed everywhere including over the twins.  There was so much blood splattered over the twins from their mother that they could not identify the boy from the girl.  Upon his arrest, he showed no remorse.  In addition to the twins, this heinous murder left 5 children motherless.

Carrington was charged with murder and was facing the death penalty.  However, Melissa’s family agreed to have him tried in front of a Judge instead so they would not have to endure the years of repeat trauma going in and out of court a death penalty involves.

Continue reading ““MELISSA COWAN – A MOTHER, A WIFE, A CHILD, A SISTER, A FRIEND – A TRAGEDY””

WWW.SURVIVINGMURDER1.COM WISHES EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS

mom & dadAnother Christmas has arrived.  Memories of days passed circulates through our minds and hearts.  Let us remember those who have gone on before us and rejoice in the memories they left us.

Our loved ones are no longer with us in the flesh but the love we shared will live in our hearts forever.  Whether this is your first Christmas without your loved one or the twentieth, we know life will never be the same again. However, lets continue to celebrate their lives.

Merry Christmas to my mother Juanita, father Abraham, brothers Abraham and Roland and especially to my son Justin Devin Cornelius Daniel Cosby.  The love we shared will always be remembered and cherished!

LOVE ALWAYS,

http://www.survivingmurder1.com

 

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A ROOM THAT IS ALL TO FAMILIAR

 

A ROOM THAT I S ALL TO FAMILIAR – PART 1

 

A ROOM THAT I S ALL TO FAMILIAR – PART 1

MASSACHUSETTS CELEBRATES VICTIMS SURVIVORS’ AWARENESS MONTH AT THE STATE HOUSE

This month began with a celebration at the State House that was hosted by Tina Cherry and the Louis D. Brown Peace Institute.

I have had the honor of being mentored by the award winning author Michael Patrick MacDonald over the past couple of months.

He asked us to write a story about “A Room that is all to familiar to us.”  Several rooms came to mind but this room kept overshadowing the others.  In memory of my son Justin Devin Cornelius Daniel Cosby and other victims of violence I have written about this room I know so well.

 

YES, I KNOW THIS ROOM
       
This room is all too familiar to me. These walls have stories to tell. I have been in this place far too many times. Though this room is decorated elegantly with fancy draperies, pictures, flowers and mementos, this room disturbs me — I hate this room.

Yes, I know this room. I know it well. Most of the time this room does not discriminate. This room has no name engraved on its front door. This room has no race. This room is ageless. This room denies no gender. This room does not care what your class or status is, who you are or where you are in life. This room does not care what your political views are or what connections you have. Everyone will pass through this room at one time or another. Yes, sooner or later, we all know this room.

The photos that adorn this room change from week to week, sometimes day to day. Sometimes, the faces are far too young to be on these walls. Old and young, dressed in their Sunday best, stand telling stories — memories of a loved one who is gone. I’ve been in this room with my mother and my father. I’ve also been in this room with two of my brothers. Lord, have mercy, I’ve been in this room with so many others. Yes, I know this room. Continue reading “A ROOM THAT IS ALL TO FAMILIAR”

MY SON – MY LOVE;HIS DEATH – MY NIGHTMARE!

 

 

I MISS HIM SO MUCH!
I MISS HIM SO MUCH!

TODAY, MAY 18, 2015 I WOKE UP WITH A HEAVY HEART.  6 years ago today May 18, 2009, my son Justin Cosby was cut down by murder at the age of 21.  Justin was my youngest child and only son.  Around 10 a.m., this morning 6 years ago, he was hollering out to me how much he loved me.  6 hours later, he was shot in the Kirkland House at Harvard University.  About 10 hours later, Justin died from a gunshot wound to his stomach.

Justin was a joy to have as a child and a self-admitted momma’s boy until his death.  Justin was energetic, ambitious and very charismatic.  He left a devoted mother Denise Cosby, a devoted sister Shenita Cosby and an array of family and friends who still mourn his death six years later.  Even though all 4 of the culprits have been convicted and are being punished, my son’s life is No More.  I will always remember, love and cherish my son’s legacy.  When I think of Justin, I think of his big kool-aid smile that used to spread from one side of his face to another and those warm hugs he used to give me.  I am not sure whether I experience more pain from the memories because he is no longer here or, do I indulge in the happy memories Justin shared with us when he was here.  I know his spirit will remain in our hearts forever.  In memory of Justin, I have posted a letter written to him from my my upcoming Memoir “Murder at Harvard University’s Kirkland House – A Mother’s Worst Nightmare”.

DEAR JUSTIN:

Son, I am so proud of you.  I am so proud of the legacy you left behind.  I am in awe of the friendships you made along the way.  I cherish the love and the respect you always gave to me.  I am proud of the strength and tenacity you displayed as you tried to mature and navigate your way through the complexities and atrocities of life from boy hood to man hood in spite of the challenges and difficult journey you faced along the way.

Continue reading “MY SON – MY LOVE;HIS DEATH – MY NIGHTMARE!”

A MOTHER’S LOVE ENDURES – HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

grief photoMother’s Day means so many things to different people.  Mother’s Day is a day set aside to recognize all mothers or persons whom have acted as mothers.  Mothers are sometimes not the woman who birthed you but she is the woman who supported you through thick and thin, doctored you when you were sick, listened to you when nobody else cared and loved you no matter what.  You could always depend on a mother to pick you up when you are down.  No matter what disagreements have come and gone, a mother’s love endures.

Mother’s Day is one of the most deserved and recognized days of the year.  It is a day when we tell our Mothers how much we love them and appreciate them.  It is also a day mothers look forward too because they know their most precious jewels will make them smile by showing them how much they appreciate and love them.  Many are flourished with special dinners, cards, flowers, gifts and moments.  Some are just happy to be able to hear their children’s voice.  No matter the method of communication when a child shows love to his mother, Mother’s Day usually leaves memories that mothers take to the grave with them.

My mother died about 20 years ago.  I still remember her teachings, scoldings, support and most of all love she showed me.  20 years later, I still have cards and mementos she gave me for inspiration and motivation.  I know my mother’s love still endures.

The best day of my life was when I became a mother.  Even though I went through long hard labors, the reward outweighed the pain.  My first child Shenita, a girl; someone to dress up, teach to become a young lady and groom for woman hood.  Shenita has become an amazing young woman and I thank God for her every day.  Shenita has been a gift and I am very proud of her.

Continue reading “A MOTHER’S LOVE ENDURES – HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!”

AARON HERNANDEZ GUILTY!!! ODIN LLOYD’S FAMILY GETS JUSTICE!

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www.survivingmurder1.com extends its sincerest condolences to Odin Lloyd’s family who was murdered on June 17, 2013 in North Attleboro, MA.   We also extend our congratulations and best wishes to Odin’s family for enduring a long successful trial that came to fruition on April 15, 2015.  The killer – Aaron Hernandez, ex-New England Patriot’s football player celebrity status kept this story headlining national and international news for almost two years.   After nearly 7 days (36 hours) of deliberations the jury returned a verdict of GUILTY of first-degree murder in Odin’s death.  Aaron Hernandez is now being held accountable for his heinous actions he committed on Odin Lloyd.  In fact, the murder was described as extreme atrocity and cruelty “execution style of a helpless man”.   The Judge sentenced Aaron Hernandez to serve life in prison without the possibility of parole.

As I listened to the impact statements of Odin’s mother Mrs. Ursual Ward, his sister and uncle my heart dropped.  I felt as though I was having a flashback.  Through her words, I relived my son Justin’s verdict and my family’s response to the verdict.  No mother knows a pain of another mother who has loss her child other than another mother who has walked through the same valley of death.  Odin’s mother expressed some of the same thoughts about her son Odin as I did about my son Justin in my impact statement.  I heard her say she missed his big smile, her son calling out to her “Mom Dukes where are you going?”  What are you doing?  Kidding with her by asking her, “who told you that you could go out today”?  What are you cooking mom and mom you look beautiful.”  Those words were some of the same words my son used to say to me and I would like Mrs. Ward  to know I feel her pain!!!  In addition, it just made it clearer that so many parents who have lost children to murder share exactly the same sentiments and memories.  However, thank God, we have memories that will always elicit a smile and warm thoughts of our loss.

Continue reading “AARON HERNANDEZ GUILTY!!! ODIN LLOYD’S FAMILY GETS JUSTICE!”

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This year, I choose to “Believe!”  No matter, what happens or have happened, we have to have faith!  It has been one year since God gave me a vision to reach out to families who have experienced the loss of a child or loved one to murder. I created http://www.survivingmurder1.com in memory of my son Justin Cosby who was murdered at Harvard University on May 18, 2009.  During this time, I have posted 37 blogs sharing opinions, experiences and situations with families and friends who are trying to cope with the tragedy their family has face.  After one year of Blogging, www.survivingmurder1.com have had over 8100 visitors reading and sharing my blogs.

There is nothing any worst than a parent who loses a child to murder.  The feeling is indescribable and incomprehensible.  From the initial “Call” a parent receives notifying them that his or her child has been murdered, planning funeral services, grieving and navigating through court proceedings one can easily become overwhelmed and disillusioned.  Many families don’t receive justice for one reason or Continue reading “www.survivingmurder1.com Celebrates 1 yr. of Blogging!”

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