THE CALL

 

EVERYDAY A PARENT RECEIVES A CALL THAT CHANGES THEIR LIVES FOREVER.  THIS IS THE CALL THAT NOBODY WISHES ON THEIR WORST ENEMY. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE RECEIVED THIS CALL;

DO YOU REMEMBER THE CALL?

“The Call”

On May 18, 2009, I received “the call.”

The call that changed my life forever still rings loudly in my head almost five years later.

Around 4:15 p.m. on May 18, 2009, I stood in front of my television set and watched a news bulletin flash across my screen.  The report indicated a young man had been shot at Harvard University.  Having been home all day, I decided to go out for a while after watching the alarming news story.    I left the house thinking my son Justin was in his room due to the fact that he had been there all day.  I planned to call him a little later that afternoon.  About an hour after leaving the house I received a call from Justin’s girlfriend.  She told me Justin had left home and she hadn’t heard from him in some time.  After trying to text him and call him, she could not reach him.  This was unusual for Justin so she decided to call me.  I told her I had not heard from Justin and would call him.  Justin was very close to me.  Proud to be a “momma’s boy,” he was 21 years old, and my baby.  If I called him, he would always answer or call me right back.  I picked up the phone and called him.  The call went straight to his voice mail.  I left him a message to call me right away.  I began to text him and received no answer.  The silence concerned me.  I decided to leave my friends’ home of whom I had gone to visit with for a while, and proceeded to drive home.

Continue reading “THE CALL”

WWW.SURVIVINGMURDER1.COM WISHES EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS

mom & dadAnother Christmas has arrived.  Memories of days passed circulates through our minds and hearts.  Let us remember those who have gone on before us and rejoice in the memories they left us.

Our loved ones are no longer with us in the flesh but the love we shared will live in our hearts forever.  Whether this is your first Christmas without your loved one or the twentieth, we know life will never be the same again. However, lets continue to celebrate their lives.

Merry Christmas to my mother Juanita, father Abraham, brothers Abraham and Roland and especially to my son Justin Devin Cornelius Daniel Cosby.  The love we shared will always be remembered and cherished!

LOVE ALWAYS,

http://www.survivingmurder1.com

 

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www.survivingmurder1.com Wishes each and everyone A Very “Happy Thanksgiving!”

I AM THANKFUL TO HAVE HAD A CHILD THAT I LOVED SO DEARLY AND LOSS THAN TO HAVE NEVER HAD KNOWN THAT LOVE AT ALL!  

THANK YOU GOD FOR HAVING LOANED ME JUSTIN DEVIN CORNELIUS DANIEL COSBY FOR 21 GLORIOUS YEARS.

ENJOY YOUR DAY!

Denise Cosby

Author: Upcoming Memoir – “Murder at Harvard University’s Kirkland House – A Mother’s Worst Nightmare!”

 

Happy Thanks giving

 

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A ROOM THAT IS ALL TO FAMILIAR

 

A ROOM THAT I S ALL TO FAMILIAR – PART 1

 

A ROOM THAT I S ALL TO FAMILIAR – PART 1

MASSACHUSETTS CELEBRATES VICTIMS SURVIVORS’ AWARENESS MONTH AT THE STATE HOUSE

This month began with a celebration at the State House that was hosted by Tina Cherry and the Louis D. Brown Peace Institute.

I have had the honor of being mentored by the award winning author Michael Patrick MacDonald over the past couple of months.

He asked us to write a story about “A Room that is all to familiar to us.”  Several rooms came to mind but this room kept overshadowing the others.  In memory of my son Justin Devin Cornelius Daniel Cosby and other victims of violence I have written about this room I know so well.

 

YES, I KNOW THIS ROOM
       
This room is all too familiar to me. These walls have stories to tell. I have been in this place far too many times. Though this room is decorated elegantly with fancy draperies, pictures, flowers and mementos, this room disturbs me — I hate this room.

Yes, I know this room. I know it well. Most of the time this room does not discriminate. This room has no name engraved on its front door. This room has no race. This room is ageless. This room denies no gender. This room does not care what your class or status is, who you are or where you are in life. This room does not care what your political views are or what connections you have. Everyone will pass through this room at one time or another. Yes, sooner or later, we all know this room.

The photos that adorn this room change from week to week, sometimes day to day. Sometimes, the faces are far too young to be on these walls. Old and young, dressed in their Sunday best, stand telling stories — memories of a loved one who is gone. I’ve been in this room with my mother and my father. I’ve also been in this room with two of my brothers. Lord, have mercy, I’ve been in this room with so many others. Yes, I know this room. Continue reading “A ROOM THAT IS ALL TO FAMILIAR”

MY SON – MY LOVE;HIS DEATH – MY NIGHTMARE!

 

 

I MISS HIM SO MUCH!
I MISS HIM SO MUCH!

TODAY, MAY 18, 2015 I WOKE UP WITH A HEAVY HEART.  6 years ago today May 18, 2009, my son Justin Cosby was cut down by murder at the age of 21.  Justin was my youngest child and only son.  Around 10 a.m., this morning 6 years ago, he was hollering out to me how much he loved me.  6 hours later, he was shot in the Kirkland House at Harvard University.  About 10 hours later, Justin died from a gunshot wound to his stomach.

Justin was a joy to have as a child and a self-admitted momma’s boy until his death.  Justin was energetic, ambitious and very charismatic.  He left a devoted mother Denise Cosby, a devoted sister Shenita Cosby and an array of family and friends who still mourn his death six years later.  Even though all 4 of the culprits have been convicted and are being punished, my son’s life is No More.  I will always remember, love and cherish my son’s legacy.  When I think of Justin, I think of his big kool-aid smile that used to spread from one side of his face to another and those warm hugs he used to give me.  I am not sure whether I experience more pain from the memories because he is no longer here or, do I indulge in the happy memories Justin shared with us when he was here.  I know his spirit will remain in our hearts forever.  In memory of Justin, I have posted a letter written to him from my my upcoming Memoir “Murder at Harvard University’s Kirkland House – A Mother’s Worst Nightmare”.

DEAR JUSTIN:

Son, I am so proud of you.  I am so proud of the legacy you left behind.  I am in awe of the friendships you made along the way.  I cherish the love and the respect you always gave to me.  I am proud of the strength and tenacity you displayed as you tried to mature and navigate your way through the complexities and atrocities of life from boy hood to man hood in spite of the challenges and difficult journey you faced along the way.

Continue reading “MY SON – MY LOVE;HIS DEATH – MY NIGHTMARE!”

A MOTHER’S LOVE ENDURES – HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

grief photoMother’s Day means so many things to different people.  Mother’s Day is a day set aside to recognize all mothers or persons whom have acted as mothers.  Mothers are sometimes not the woman who birthed you but she is the woman who supported you through thick and thin, doctored you when you were sick, listened to you when nobody else cared and loved you no matter what.  You could always depend on a mother to pick you up when you are down.  No matter what disagreements have come and gone, a mother’s love endures.

Mother’s Day is one of the most deserved and recognized days of the year.  It is a day when we tell our Mothers how much we love them and appreciate them.  It is also a day mothers look forward too because they know their most precious jewels will make them smile by showing them how much they appreciate and love them.  Many are flourished with special dinners, cards, flowers, gifts and moments.  Some are just happy to be able to hear their children’s voice.  No matter the method of communication when a child shows love to his mother, Mother’s Day usually leaves memories that mothers take to the grave with them.

My mother died about 20 years ago.  I still remember her teachings, scoldings, support and most of all love she showed me.  20 years later, I still have cards and mementos she gave me for inspiration and motivation.  I know my mother’s love still endures.

The best day of my life was when I became a mother.  Even though I went through long hard labors, the reward outweighed the pain.  My first child Shenita, a girl; someone to dress up, teach to become a young lady and groom for woman hood.  Shenita has become an amazing young woman and I thank God for her every day.  Shenita has been a gift and I am very proud of her.

Continue reading “A MOTHER’S LOVE ENDURES – HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!”

AARON HERNANDEZ GUILTY!!! ODIN LLOYD’S FAMILY GETS JUSTICE!

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www.survivingmurder1.com extends its sincerest condolences to Odin Lloyd’s family who was murdered on June 17, 2013 in North Attleboro, MA.   We also extend our congratulations and best wishes to Odin’s family for enduring a long successful trial that came to fruition on April 15, 2015.  The killer – Aaron Hernandez, ex-New England Patriot’s football player celebrity status kept this story headlining national and international news for almost two years.   After nearly 7 days (36 hours) of deliberations the jury returned a verdict of GUILTY of first-degree murder in Odin’s death.  Aaron Hernandez is now being held accountable for his heinous actions he committed on Odin Lloyd.  In fact, the murder was described as extreme atrocity and cruelty “execution style of a helpless man”.   The Judge sentenced Aaron Hernandez to serve life in prison without the possibility of parole.

As I listened to the impact statements of Odin’s mother Mrs. Ursual Ward, his sister and uncle my heart dropped.  I felt as though I was having a flashback.  Through her words, I relived my son Justin’s verdict and my family’s response to the verdict.  No mother knows a pain of another mother who has loss her child other than another mother who has walked through the same valley of death.  Odin’s mother expressed some of the same thoughts about her son Odin as I did about my son Justin in my impact statement.  I heard her say she missed his big smile, her son calling out to her “Mom Dukes where are you going?”  What are you doing?  Kidding with her by asking her, “who told you that you could go out today”?  What are you cooking mom and mom you look beautiful.”  Those words were some of the same words my son used to say to me and I would like Mrs. Ward  to know I feel her pain!!!  In addition, it just made it clearer that so many parents who have lost children to murder share exactly the same sentiments and memories.  However, thank God, we have memories that will always elicit a smile and warm thoughts of our loss.

Continue reading “AARON HERNANDEZ GUILTY!!! ODIN LLOYD’S FAMILY GETS JUSTICE!”

DEATH PENALTY FOR DZHOKHAR TSARNAVEV – WHERE DO YOU STAND?

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For years the Boston Marathon has been one of Boston’s most proudest events.  Runners come from all over the world to compete and participate in the 26-mile marathon.  On April 15, 2013, as crowds of spectators cheered on runners who were approaching the finishing line, two homemade pressure cooker bombs exploded seconds apart.  The devastation caused mass destruction and left over 260 people with major injuries including many lost limbs.  Those bombs took the lives of 3 people.  29 year old Krystal Campbell, Boston University Graduate student Lingzi Lu and little 8 year old Richard Martin laid dead amidst the carnage.  The attack also left the City in an uproar.  Over the next few days, the local residents were ordered to stay in their homes while the police pursued the suspects.  On April 19, 2013, law enforcement continued to scan the City for the suspects.  MIT Police Officer Sean Collier was approached by the suspects was and shot dead.  The suspects left the area where Officer Collier was shot and went a couple miles away to a neighboring City of Allston.  There they hi-jacked a vehicle, drove the owner to a service station in Cambridge where the owner escaped and ran into a nearby service station begging for help.  The clerk called the police and a high speed chase ensued into nearby Watertown, another bordering city just a few miles away.

The suspects turned out to be Tamerian Tsarnaev and Dzhokhar Tsarnavev, two brothers from Cambridge.  The chase ended when Tamerian Tsarnaev fell from the car and his brother Dzhokhar ran over him resulting in Tamerian’s death.

Dzhokhar escaped during all the mayhem and went on the run for 2 days.  Cambridge Police, Boston Police, Watertown Police State Police and Federal law officials set up a command post in Watertown until they found Dzhokhar hiding in a boat in one residents’ back yard.  Dzhokhar was apprehended and taken into custody.  Many lives were altered, devastated and destroyed by the Tsasrnavev brothers actions.

In January 2015, a Dzhokhar Tsarnavev went on trial at John Moakley Federal Court in Boston.  On March 3, 2015 a jury of his peers were chosen.  Dzhokhar faced 30 counts of charges in connection with the bombing.  17 of those counts punishable by the death penalty.

On April 8, 2015, two years after the bombing, the verdict came in.  Dzhokhar Tsarnavev was found Guilty on all 30 counts including conspiracy and use of weapons of mass destruction.   17 of those counts are punishable by death.

Many of us have lost loved ones to murder.  However if we were given the opportunity to choose life or death for the pepertrator would you be able to choose the death penalty?   Death is final and ends the pain, misery and punishment for the offender.  However, life in prison without the possibility of parole is a living hell.  Each and every day that person lives, he has to think about what he has done, the pain and devastation he has caused and the fact that he has no chance to ever cause harm again.

IS THE DEATH PENALTY HARSHER PUNISHMENT THAN LIFE WITHOUT PAROLE?  WHAT IS YOUROPINION?

“Five Stages Of Loss and Grief”

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The suddenness of death is often times hard to comprehend.  The pain of losing a loved one is crushing.  It is much like losing a part of oneself.  It is a pain, that you learn to tolerate but you never recover from it.  You cannot fix it.  You cannot get over it.  We can only work towards accepting it.  We all know that we will lose people who we love in our lifetime.  However, when we lose someone to murder, it is a shocking and devastating.  The lost sometimes makes one feel as though they are walking around with a daze with a huge hole in your soul.  When our love ones are murdered, it leaves us feeling as if we to, have been struck down.

When we lose people by murder, it feels like an attack on your spirit.  Whether the perpetrator(s) are someone who is familiar to you in some way or a complete stranger, the suddenness of death affect us in ways that are impossible to explain and leaves us with feelings that are hard to comprehend.  Families are left with many unanswered questions and often times they are unable to hear anything beyond an explanation as to  “WHY!”

A Therapist by the name of Kubler Ross came up with a five stage theory to try to help people understand and cope with grief.  Her theory is interesting and gives some clarity and understanding of how to deal with our loss. The Stages of Grief according to “Kubler Ross” theory does not necessarily happen in chronological order but the victim could experience any of the five stages at any given time.

Stage 1.  The first stage of grief in her theory is Denial.   Denial is a defense mechanism.  A defense mechanism protects our emotions when our brain refuses to deal or cope with sudden trauma.  Emotionally we are not ready to hear, deal or accept our loss.  We emotionally shut down until we are able to begin to process our loss (murder).  The impact of a sudden murder often times leaves one in a state of disbelief, uncertainty, shock and anger thirsting for revenge.  I reflect back to when my nephew Justin was murdered.  I can remember I was standing in the middle of the floor talking on the phone.  My brain refused to process the news that my nephew had been murdered and it shut down.  I actually lost my footing and fell back onto a chair.  It felt as though someone had punched me in my stomach.  I could not cope with the realization that someone had murdered my nephew.  The loss caused me emotional pain and disbelief.  I experienced denial. I did not want to believe I heard what had just been told to me.  Continue reading ““Five Stages Of Loss and Grief””

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