just and sant1

just stone

I woke up this Christmas morning with tears in my eyes and a heavy heart!  I became over come with nothing but thoughts of my son Justin who was murdered in May 2009.  I left town for a couple of days trying to prepare myself for the void I knew I faced.  However, it does not matter where you are the loss of a loved one follows you.

Christmas was Justin’s favorite holiday.  He always had something in mind that he wanted special for Christmas.  I miss hearing all the plans and negotiating the gift ideas.  Smiles, wishes, hopes, promises and dreams are no more.  I have not cried tears outwardly in over five years, however the pain and tears that I harbor inside are still  unspeakable.   I am not writing this to gain sympathy, I am writing this because I know so many moms and dads are feeling just the same as I do.  Nobody knows the pain a parent feels when he or she has lost a child except another parent who has experienced the same.  People do not like to address the subject of murder and death around this time of year because nobody enjoy seeing others sad and grieving.  Many people do not know how to address the loss on holidays.  Others think time eases the tension and pain of the absence of a loved one.

Thus, this Christmas from one grieving parent to another, I am here to address the “pink elephant in the middle of the room.” The pink elephant I’m referring to is the death and absence of a loved one.  After a while, nobody want to acknowledge it.  We have to recognize and acknowledge to ourselves that Christmas will never be the same again.  We have to find a way to deal as we continue to mourn our loss and try to find some simulation of happiness and normalcy againToday, this December 25, 2014, I am going to charge each of us to take our thoughts and memories to a new level.  Let’s bask in the memories of the past Christmases that left smiles on our faces and joy in our hearts.  Think of those thoughts of holidays past that still warm our hearts when our children were alive.  We have to recognize remember and cherish those times that made them so memorable!

This Christmas, let’s put a little “Merry” back in our “Christmas” with loving memories of our past!




Add yours

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: